


Vines - Sonny Carisi

by Sherrykinss



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sherrykinss/pseuds/Sherrykinss
Summary: Being the newest detective, means you have to prove yourself.  Pride is the blame when mistakes are made. So, do you listen to your coworkers or take care of things on your own?
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Original Female Character(s), Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Reader
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

After an emotionally tough case, Alessa wanted to relax with a bottle of wine at home. The detectives were instructed to take the night off, to alleviate any stress caused by exhaustion or from the case. Although the case was finished and closed, it was hard for the detectives to not take their work home. On Alessa’s way home, she stopped by a liquor store to stock up her liquor cabinet. As she strolled through the aisles, picking up her favorite bottle and also a new bottle to try something new. Once she made her selection, she headed straight to the register. She couldn’t wait till she could put her feet up and put on a cheesy romantic comedy.

“ID please.” The cashier said as he scanned the bottles of wine.

She pulled her ID out of her wallet and handed it over. He held it up close, examining it. She was definitely obviously of age, yet the man seemed to stare at her ID a bit too long. She cleared her throat and he glanced up, handing her ID back. There’s an odd glint in his piercing stare that made her feel uneasy. Sensing her uneasiness, he cracked a smile. However, there was something off about the way his smile didn’t connect with his deadpan eyes.

“You live in Jefferson? The next town over?” He asked, attempting to make small talk.

She didn’t know what came over her, but she let a response slip passed her lips.

“Yeah.” It was a soft response and she immediately regretted it. There was something unsettling about the way he stared at her.

“That’s a really nice neighborhood.” He said, as he meticulously wrapped her bottles of wine with enough paper.

This time, she didn’t respond with anything, not even a mere nod. He carefully placed the wrapped bottles in a bag as she slid her credit card at the machine. Her eyes were glued on the screen, trying to decipher the tension. Was it paranoia or was it stress? Was the job starting to get to her?

“Miss, I am going to have to slide it on my machine.” He said.

She nodded and handed her credit card over, but as he reached out to grab it, his finger brushed against the back of her hand. The way his fingers lingered added more to her uneasiness. He slid her credit card and the transaction went through successfully.

“Thank you. Here you go,” He said, handing it back to her.

She flashed a polite smile and shoved the card right back into her wallet. As he handed the bag over, he flashed a grin that didn’t sit right with her. She grabbed the bags and sent another polite smile his way before hurrying out to her car. As she turned the ignition to her car, she scolded herself for the paranoia growing in the pit of her stomach. At times like this, she hated the way her job manipulated her insanity.

Thankfully, when she arrived home and popped a bottle of wine, all her worries were brushed to the back of her mind. She was about to slip into bed with her glass of wine, when her phone rang. She groaned and hoped it wasn’t work calling. She reached for her phone and saw the caller ID.

“Please tell me this isn’t a work call.” She said, upon answering the call.

“Hey, ya eat yet?” A playful voice replied.

“Sonny, unless you’re bringing food, I don’t know why you’re disturbing my ‘me’ time.” She said, then took a sip of her wine.

“Matter of fact, I’m right outside your door with my famous spaghetti.” He said.

“Wow, a house visit?” She asked, surprised.

She set her glass down and hurried down the stairs with her phone in her hand. She peeked through the eyehole and found the tall detective standing on the other side of the door. She immediately opened the door and stepped aside. He held up a paper bag with a huge grin.

“I’ve come bearing gifts.” He said and walked in.

Sonny and her were quite close, being that they were close in age. They would often visit each other, bringing dinner and spend the night watching cheesy movies and bad reality tv. She laughed and swung the door shut, locking it afterwards. Carisi knew exactly where the kitchen was, since he’s been over her house often. He headed right to the kitchen and unpacked his bag. Like a routine, she grabbed the utensils and plates and set them right in front of the tv.

He joined her in the living room with a tub of garlic bread and a tub of spaghetti. She turned on the tv and plopped right onto the couch. He sat right beside her and kicked his feet up, placing his plate of spaghetti on his lap. She filled her plate with spaghetti and grabbed a piece of garlic bread. She switched on their favorite reality show and stuffed their faces.


	2. Part 2

The squad was working on a new case, and fortunately they easily arrested the perp. They were thankful that the perp was sloppy and rash. The only thing left was for Barba to work his magic. Liv sent everyone home for an early night and she couldn’t rush home faster. It’s been so long since she was able to get home when it wasn’t completely pitch dark.

She kicked off her shoes as soon as she got in. She threw her keys on the kitchen counter and reached for the phone. Her finger tapped on the voicemail and leaned against the counter. The first few voicemails were infomercials. She got up from the counter and walked around to grab water from her fridge. She untwisted the cap and took her first sip of water in a while.

“I’m hurt. How could you let another man into your house? Another man that wasn’t me! I loved you! You’re going to regret tainting our love.”

A distressed voice sounded from the voicemail message. Her face drained of all color, pale as a realization dawned her. It wasn’t her paranoia that made her feel uneasy and watched the whole time. Features from that familiar voice flashed through her mind, but she struggled to put a canvas of him together.

She swallowed nervously and pulled out her gun. She cautiously scanned her surroundings, checking to make sure she was alone. She checked all the windows and closed all the curtains. She quietly made her way up the stairs, checking every nook and cranny until it was clear.

She set her gun down onto the bedside table and breathed a sigh of relief. Even though she thoroughly checked the house, and confirmed that she was alone, she still felt exposed. She was starting to understand why she felt watched for the past couple of days. She didn’t want to sound paranoid, but she really wished she could call someone to spend the night.

The next couple of days, she was irritable from the loss of sleep at night. Every night, she would sleep with her gun close in case anyone intruded. Her dark eye bags were evidence of her lack of sleep. The squad members noticed her change in behavior, but they’ve all been in the same position before, so they didn’t pry. However, when she started to clash against some of the other members. Rollins pulled her aside to talk to her, in hopes that she would open up.

“What’s going on with you?” She asked Alessa.

Alessa shrugged it off and poured some more crappy coffee into her mug. She’s already had a couple cups of coffee already, but the caffeine didn’t seem to be working.

“Sorry, just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Alessa replied, hoping Amanda wouldn’t pry more.

“Is something bothering you?” She asked, in a hushed voice.

Alessa was reluctant to share; she didn’t want to seem rattled. She figured a lie wouldn’t be too harmful. All she needed was Rollins to believe enough to stop prying.

“It’s just some guy, he has some crush on me or something.” She said, casually shrugging it off.

Amanda could sense that she was hiding something from the way her eyes avoided hers.

“Okay, that shouldn’t keep you up at night.” Rollins said, her lips pursed in suspicion.

“It’s nothing, maybe I’ve just been stressed about work.” She diverted onto another topic.

Amanda took it as a hint to stop prying, but she was sure to bring it up at another time.

“Well, how about we have a girl’s night? I can come over, we can order take out. Eat a whole tub of ice cream and watch cheesy rom coms all night.” Amanda suggested, wagging her eyebrows.

Alessa was thankful Amanda stopped asking. She didn’t want Amanda to sense that something was off. Maybe it was a good idea to have her over. At least she could sleep well with another person in the house. So, she agreed.

That night, she felt a little safer as she headed home with Amanda. It felt good to have a second pair of eyes in case anything happened. It relieved a little bit of the paranoia. She was exhausted from being overly cautious all the time. This was the first time she’s felt normal in a few days.  
The plastic bags of takeout rustled as they walked down the street. When she was alone, she would flinch at every single noise. Amanda was a nice distraction. She made her laugh and relaxed, something she hadn’t felt in a long time. As Alessa unlocked the door, Amanda noticed a letter on the floor. She picked it up for Alessa and handed it over when they entered.

“Someone left you a love letter on the ground.” Amanda teased her.

She rolled her eyes, but secretly, her heart was racing with anxiety. The voicemail message replayed in her mind, as she opened the letter right there, with Amanda hovering over her shoulder.

“I told you we were meant to be. How dare you betray my love for you? You will regret it, I am watching you.” She silently read.

Before she could hide the letter, Amanda snatched the note. Amanda’s eyes widened in disbelief, she had to reread the letter in case she was seeing things. After she confirmed what she had read, her jaw dropped.

“Alessa, is the guy you were talking about? You didn’t tell me he was a stalker.” Amanda clenched the letter in anger.

Her blood boiled just thinking about the vermin that was lurking around. It seemed like every time she would put those scum away, a new one popped up. She knew Alessa was stubborn and she could relate. She was concerned that Alessa’s inability to ask for help would hurt her in the end.

“It’s not a big deal. He hasn’t done anything.” She said, but mentally she was preparing for the confrontation.

“Amanda, I just need you to relax. You don’t have anything to worry about, so let’s dig into that takeout before it gets cold.” She held up the bag of takeout.  
Amanda sighed and shook her head. She couldn’t let this go.

“We need to get you a protective detail. We don’t know who this guy is, he could escalate!” Amanda tried reasoning with her.

“Definitely not. I can take care of myself and I know you would say the same if you were in my situation.” Alessa said and shook her head.

Amanda sighed and shook her head. Alessa knew her too well, and she was right. Amanda would never agree to people tailing her and adding more to her paranoia. Judging from the determination in Alessa’s eyes, Amanda didn’t press the issue further. However, she would feel better if she told someone who was closer to Alessa.  
The next morning, they caught another case. Alessa felt a lot more refreshed since she slept well last night. It was all thanks to Amanda staying the night. Who knew they could eat so much takeout?

After Liv briefed the team, she was instructed to go with Fin to talk to the parents of the victim. As she was gathering her belongings, Carisi stopped by her desk. He had a stern but concerned expression. It was odd because he was like that all morning. Usually, he was the chipper one out of them all.

“Hey, can we talk?” He called her aside.

“Yeah, what’s up?” She asked, mirroring his hushed voice.

He gestured to her to follow him to the vending machines. Once it was clear, he crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her.

“Rollins told me.” He sternly said.

“What are you talking about, gossip girl?” She playfully teased him, but the unphased stern expression on his face warned that he was serious.

“She told me about the letter you got.” He said.

She rolled her eyes and groaned. She knew Amanda couldn’t keep her mouth shut, even after she told her it was nothing. She should have expected it. A little part of her was glad it was Carisi and not Liv. If it was Liv, she wouldn’t have any hope of persuasion.

“It’s just someone with a crush me. It’s no big deal.” She explained.

“He is a stalker. Why didn’t you tell me he was threatening you?” He asked; his voice slightly escalating from his hushed whisper.

“I’m a freaking detective for God’s sake!” She exclaimed in disbelief.

She had already been so stressed out, she didn’t need Sonny to start poking around her life and adding more to that stress.

“We’re going to get someone assigned to you.” He said.

“No!” She argued, her voice raising over his.

“Don’t fight me on this.” He strictly said, pointing his finger at her.

She scoffed, she couldn’t believe that he was treating her like a kid. She expected it from everyone else, but not him.

“I don’t need a bodyguard! If I can’t take care of myself, then how do I protect others?” She snapped.

“Look at me.” He calmly said, but when she didn’t budge, he repeated himself.

“Look at me. I know you can take care of yourself. But let’s be smart about this. Look me in the eyes and if you can truthfully tell me you’re okay, then I’ll leave it alone.” He said.

He recognized that she was just as stubborn as the rest of the squad. He understood her drive to constantly prove herself, especially since he was once in her position before. He knew even if he forced her to agree, she would find ways to slip through. Deep down, she knew he was right. It was smart to just have someone watching her back, but that doesn’t mean she was going to admit it. However, if she can’t prove that she can take care of herself, then she had no right to be with the squad.

“Don’t presume to know anything about me. I can take care of myself” She said in an aggressive tone and walked off.  
He sighed and shook his head. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, frustrated by her stubbornness.


	3. Part 3

The next couple of days, Alessa was weary of her surroundings. Nothing has happened in the past few days, yet she was on the edge anticipation at every turn. Every person that walked by her, every sound she heard late in the night, it startled her. The sleepless nights were starting to take a toll on her and she couldn’t ask anyone to stay over. If she had made any suggestion that she was crumbling under the anxiety, they would stick her under surveillance. Sonny wasn’t the only one that noticed, Liv was starting to take notice as well. As days go by without any new letter or voicemail, she told herself that she could breathe a little. Perhaps, he had moved on and maybe she should too.

It took her a while, but she focused more on the cases to avoid dealing with her own issues. It helped for a while. The tension between the other detectives and her dissolved a bit. However, the tension with Sonny hadn’t been repaired. She didn’t know how to bring it up without admitting that he was right. She was in the midst of preparing coffee and a light breakfast, when a knock came at the door. It was a bit early for a visitor, but she thought maybe it was Sonny trying to patch things up. So, she opened it without checking the eyehole. Unfortunately, it wasn’t Sonny on the other side.

“Hi, can I help you?” She asked, in confusion by the unfamiliar man.

“It’s me, love.” The stranger said, in a rather calm voice.

“Uh… I think you’ve got the wrong house.” She said and started to close the door.

Before she could close the door, the man whipped out a gun and pointed it right at her. She gasped and froze on the spot. He walked towards her, keeping the gun pointed at her. She slowly backed away, letting the man in the house. Her mind was racing with possible ways to disarm the man, but she couldn’t. Her gun was in the kitchen and if she made any sudden movements, he would shoot her.

“It’s me, Harry. I’m the love of your life.” The man said calmly.

Despite his calm and soft voice, there was something in his eyes that felt familiar. However, she couldn’t figure out where she had seen this man before.  
“Did you enjoy the bottles of wine?” He asked.

That was when it all clicked. This was the man at the liquor store that made her feel uneasy. At first, she couldn’t piece together how he could have possibly known where she lived. When the realization dawned on her, she felt dizzy with panic. He memorized the address on her ID, that was why he was staring at it for so long. Her legs felt weak, recalling all the things she could have done differently. She was aware of how oddly calm he was despite threatening her with a gun. Perhaps, she could talk him out of it.

“Harry, give me the gun and we can talk about this.” She calmly said, and slowly extended her hand out.

“We are talking,” He said, taking a step closer.

She swallowed the lump in her throat. A shiver ran up her spine, she was terrified that if she even flinched that it would spook him. The last she wanted to do was trigger any panic or aggression from him.

It was 10am and everyone from the squad was filling out paperwork and filing cases from the night before. Liv came out of her office and gathered the squad up for a briefing. Her eyes scanned the group when she noticed a missing member. She glanced at her watch and then at her phone. She didn’t have any messages and it was already so late in the morning.

“Anyone seen the newbie?” She asked.

Everyone glanced around and shook their head when they didn’t see her. She was late and no one knew where she was and that instantly made Sonny’s stomach drop. He had a bad feeling and he was hoping he was wrong.

“I’ll go get her. I think she might be in trouble.” He said, without an explanation.

The squad watched him run off in a hurry with confused looks on their faces. They didn’t understand why he would come to that conclusion.  
“Why is she in trouble?” Liv asked.

Fin shrugged and glanced over at Rollins. She sighed, she already had an earful for running her mouth. But seeing Carisi run off so urgently, maybe it was important.  
“She has a stalker. And last time I was with her, she got this letter from him.” Rollins explained.

Liv’s eyes widened in shock, “And nobody thought to tell me?” She asked.

“I got an earful when I told Sonny. I figured she would listen to him more than me.” Rollins held her hands up.

Liv shook her head and dialed Carisi’s number. When Liv called and he didn’t answer his phone, she sent a couple of officers along with Fin to Alessa’s house.  
Carisi immediately reached for his cell and called her number as he hurried to his car. His heart raced with anxiety when he recognized the bad feeling in his gut. No matter how relentlessly he called, the call would go straight to voicemail. He swerved around the streets of New York, beating himself up for not telling Liv about her stalker.

When he arrived to her house, he knocked on the front door. He called one last time, and was about to give up, when he heard noises on the other side. He pressed his ear against the door and heard what sounded like her TV running in the background. She would never just leave the tv on if she wasn’t home. So he knocked once more.  
“Hey, it’s Carisi. Open up!” He called out.

He knocked once again, but this time she finally opened the door. However, she looked pale. Her eyes looked alarm, but there was a strained smile on her lips.  
“Hey, you didn’t answer your phone. Are you alright?” He asked, glancing inside her house.

He knew something was off by the way she was behaving. She was too tense, too nervous.

“Yeah, I wasn’t feel well. I’m sorry, I should have called in. Tell Liv I’m sorry.” She said, slowly starting to close the door.

Sonny wasn’t buying it. She was trying to get rid of him too abruptly. He stuck his foot out, wedging it between the door, to prevent it from closing. She gasped and tensed up even more. He caught the flash of panic in her eyes, confirming his suspicion.

“What is going on?” He asked, as he tried to push his way in.

Before she could answer, he was pulled inside and the door was kicked closed. He stumbled in and when he looked up, his eyes were met with a barrel of a gun. The cold metal sent a shiver down his spine, but he knew he couldn’t panic. Panic would only make the situation worse. He slowly put up his hands and stood up straight, his eyes shifting from the gun and her eyes.

“You’re the jackass that was trying to steal her away.” The man growled angrily.

“Harry, Harry, look at me.” She calmly said, trying to pull his attention away from Carisi.

The man stepped back, but switched from pointing the gun between her and Carisi. Beads of sweat ran down the man’s forehead. His blue eyes were no longer calm and disconnected as his gaze switched between the two detectives.

“How could you do this to me?” The man angrily shook the gun at her.

“Listen to me, you’ve got to relax.” Sonny calmly said to the man.

“Don’t tell me what to do!” He screamed at Sonny.

She flinched by the volume of his voice, terrified by the man’s next move. All she wanted was for Sonny to get out safe. She knew he wouldn’t harm her, otherwise, she would have been tied up and beaten already. All she needed was for Sonny to get out and get help.

“You don’t have to do this. Let him go, you want me.” She said, her voice cracking as she fought back tears.

“No, take me instead. You love her, you want to keep her safe right?” Sonny said, adding more to the distress of the man.

“I love her. My love for her is pure, but you…” The man turned the gun to Sonny.

His eyes turned dark, fueled by the anger of Sonny’s intrusion. She wasn’t understanding why Sonny was trying to insert himself between them. She knew that the possibility of him hurting her was low. She didn’t want Sonny getting hurt to be on her conscience. She couldn’t let him take the fall for her mistake.

“You tainted our love! You ruined what we could have had!” He furiously shouted at Sonny, then cocked his gun with no hesitation.

Alessa’s eyes widen in alarm, the man’s emotions were escalating. She moved slowly, keeping her hands up so the man wouldn’t be spooked by any sudden movements. She reached out slowly for him, moving in front of Sonny to deflect the man’s attention from him.

“Harry, he didn’t ruin us. I’m still here. We can be together. Just let him go.” She attempted to convince the distressed man.

The man shook his head, tears and snot streaming down his face.

“He has nothing to do with us.” She said, keeping her voice in a gentle tone.

The man nodded, but Sonny wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t let her stuck in this house with him. He’s had more field experience, and he would never let her push him aside.

“Harry, you can save her. Let her go, I can help you. I’m going to help you through this.” Sonny intervened again.

Sonny’s voice snapped the man’s attention from Alessa. She saw the man’s eyes turn back into anger. Alessa nudged Sonny behind her. The stubbornness between the two detectives was the wall in their silent communication. She spotted movement from the window in the living room. Realizing it was officers, she felt a little relieved, but knew this hostile situation was not over.

“No… you two are trying to trick me.” The man stepped back and his hands shook with fury. Both his hands held the gun tightly, pointing the weapon right at the both of them.

“Harry, Harry, look at me. Look at me. We’re not trying to trick you. We don’t need him.” She pleaded him.

Fin was outside the house, with his phone pressed against his ear. They had scoped out the house and saw the hostage situation through the windows. He was briefing Liv with the current situation, before proceeding any further. Now, the only thing left to do is to try to get his detectives out of that house safely. It wasn’t his first rodeo, so he knew exactly what to do. Even though he had snipers ready to instruction, he didn’t want to act too rashly.

The tension was high, despite the silence from the three. The gun was still pointed at Alessa, while the man intensely glared at Sonny. The two detectives rack their brain, trying to figure out a way out. They needed to contain the situation before it got out of hand. Fin dialed into the house to start negotiations.

The man was covered with sweat, from his feet to his hands. His curly hair was starting to drip from the sweat. His eyes burned from the sweat seeping into his eyes. Every part of his body was drenched from the anxiety, the fury, the toxicity of his obsession. His grip on the gun was slippery from perspiration. When the phone rang, startling them all from the sudden noise. A shot rang out, sending all the surrounding officers outside into a panic.

“Stand down! EVERYONE STAND DOWN!” Fin shouted, trying to calm the armed officers.

Fin’s heart was racing and the echo of the gunshot made his stomach churn. He had faith in his two detectives. With that in mind, he had to call for an ambulance and get a check on the situation inside. He was informed that Sonny was the only one standing. So, Fin deduced that Alessa was the one shot.

“Take the shot if it’s clear.” Fin instructed through the radio.

“The detective is standing in the way.” The sniper responded.

Fin cursed under his breath. He gestured for the bullhorn, he wasn’t going to dial in again and risk another shot.

“Harry Hopkins. We have you surrounded, don’t make this hard on us.” Fin shouted in the bullhorn.

In the house, Sonny’s blue eyes widened in shock, when he realized he wasn’t shot. Alessa sunk down on the floor, clutching her shoulder. Her face contorted with pain, groaning as the searing pain shot through her every nerve. The man’s eyes were wild with panic and in disbelief. The man was horrified, but he still held the gun right at Sonny. The man’s lips trembled, he didn’t mean to shoot her. His finger had slipped from the perspiration.

“Harry, give me the gun.” Sonny slowly reached out his hand.

The man couldn’t hear him, he was too consumed with his own mind. He just kept muttering incomprehensible things.

“Harry!” Sonny called out a little louder.

The man looked up and his eyes went straight to Alessa’s curled up body. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. Her face was pale with shock. She was trying to hold on, to stay awake, but the pain was unbearable. The blood was seeping through her shirt. She caught the scent of iron the puddle of blood, forming underneath her. She wasn’t putting enough pressure on the wound to slow the bleeding down.

“Harry, please. If you love her, let me get her some help. I will stay with you. Just let the EMTs give her medical attention.” Sonny reasoned with him.

The man’s eyes shifted from Sonny and Alessa. He knew it was over, he shot her and the only thing left to do was to get out of there alive. He needed to escape. He ran to the window to find the house surrounded with cops pointing their gun at the house. The man gasped sharply; the realization sent him in a frenzy.

“Stay with me Alessa. Do not go to sleep, you hear me?” Sonny shouted at her, then switched his attention to the man.

“Harry, please. Look at her. She’s losing a lot of blood.” Sonny reached out to him again.

The man nodded, still pointing the gun at Sonny.

“Okay good, Harry. I’m going to reach for my cell and let them know.” Sonny explained to him.

“Put it on speaker.” The man demanded.

Sonny nodded, his hands slowly reaching for his phone. He dialed Fin’s number and made sure the call was on speaker.

“Fin, you’re on speaker.” Carisi quickly said as soon as the call was answered.

“Are you okay?” Fin asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Alessa was shot in the shoulder. We need an EMT to help her out.” Carisi explained, keeping his eyes on the trembling man.

“No tricks!” The man shouted.

“Absolutely. We will send two EMTs in.” Fin said.

“NO! One person!” The man demanded.

“Fine. One EMT.” Fin said and hung up.

The one EMT was strapped with a vest and knocked carefully on the door. The man unlocked the door, carefully avoiding the windows. The EMT was pulled in and the door was kicked shut and locked afterwards. The EMT held his hands up and proceeded slowly towards the injured detective on the floor. Sonny moved slowly, luring the man away from the EMT and Alessa. He also knew he had to make sure the man was in view for the snipers in cause the situation goes sour.

The EMT slid his arms underneath the detective and scooped her up. The man nervously glanced between the EMT and Sonny. The EMT explained to him that he was going to carry Alessa out now. The man nodded and followed them to the door, he unlocked and opened the door for them. As soon as they left, he kicked the door shut and locked it behind him. Now Sonny was the only person left.

Once it was clear, Fin was the first to approach her as soon as she safely got out of the house. He wrapped a jacket around her to keep her warm. The officers and medics all surround her, helping her over to the ambulance. Fin supportively stood by her side as the EMT’s helped slow the bleeding down.

“Tell me the truth. We should have stuck together. He’s in there and I’m out here.” She groaned.

From her red teary eyes and the way her head slightly swayed, Fin deducted that she was still in shock. Fin knew whatever he says wouldn’t help relieve the guilt that was eating at her conscience. He understood how she felt; they had all been in the same situation.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked, in a warm voice.

“I want you to say it was my fault.” She said, then looked him straight in the eyes.

Alessa heard a shot rang out and the officers in the front all rushed into the house. She gasped and her mind raced in fear. Did Sonny get shot? Despite being told to stay still, she shoved the EMTs away. Her mind was still in a daze from the amount of blood she lost, but with the adrenaline racing through her body, she was able to stay awake. Her eyes were struggling to focus onto her surroundings and she felt lightheaded, but her feet still stumbled towards the house.

When the officers finally secured the scene and Sonny came out with blood spattered all over his face and hair, she finally released the breath she had been holding. The sniper must had taken the shot. A rush of relief washed over her when she realized that he wasn’t hurt; he was okay. She got up and rushed to him, pulling him into a hug, despite the pain.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, it’s my fault.” She clung onto him tightly, tears streamed down her flushed cheeks. His arms held her up, shifting her weight on him so she wouldn’t fall to the ground. He shook his head and reassured her, “Shhh, it’s not your fault.” He reassured her.

He could feel her body tremble in his arms. His eyes welled up as he stroked the back of her head in attempt to comfort her, but also to comfort himself. It wasn’t the first time he had a gun pointed to his head, yet it felt different every time. Perhaps it was a good thing, it only meant that the job hasn’t numbed him from all emotions.  
After Alessa was awake from the hospital, Liv suggested that she stay at a hotel while they cleaned up her house. Well, it was more of an order than a suggestion, seeing that she had no say. She didn’t want to stay at the hospital any longer. She fought to be discharged, despite the doctor’s recommendation to rest. So even though she left the hospital, she had to be escorted straight to the hotel. She wasn’t allowed to go to the precinct and she wasn’t allowed to work any cases.

It’s been a couple of days and the fact that she couldn’t do anything but rest. It was torture. To add more to the torture, Sonny kept checking in on her throughout the day. It wasn’t fair, he got to return to work, while she had to sit on the sidelines. At least if she was at work, she could distract herself.

She was just about to settle into bed with a good book. She thought a good distraction would keep her mind off the recent terror. She reached for the glass she had filled with those mini liquor bottles from the mini fridge. Just as she flipped the book opened, a knock at the door startled her. She swallowed nervously and set her book and glass aside. She got up from the bed and walked over to the door. She peeked through the eyehole and was relieved to find Sonny standing on the other side. She opened the door and sighed.

“Hey… what are you doing here?” She asked, leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed.

“Wanted to see if you-” Sonny started, but was cut off by her.

“If I’m okay? Look, enough with the coddling. I’m fine, and I’ve been fine since you last checked up on me.” She said, rather defensively.

He sighed and shoved his hands in the pockets of his coat. She had every right to be annoyed by him, but how could he stop worrying when she had shut herself off from the others. He didn’t want to make the same mistake before. If he had pushed her a little more, maybe she would have listened to him and gotten that protective detail. Of course, he knew there was no use in wishing to change the past, but he wasn’t going to back down, not until she talked to him.

“I was going to say… I wanted to see if you wanted to talk.” He said, his feet shifted from side to side.

“About what?” She shrugged and asked.

“You were stalked, held hostage and got shot. Then acted as if nothing happened.” He listed.

“I told you, I’m fine. I don’t know why you’re so worried.” She assured him, brushing off the fact that she tensed up when he listed off the traumatic things that had recently happened to her.

“Then why don’t you want to talk about it?” He pressed.

“Because that’s what the shrink was for. I did my time and I would like to move on. I’ve done nothing wrong since I’ve came back, so what’s with the interrogation?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

Seeing how he wasn’t stepping down, she defeatedly shrugged and walked back to her bed. He entered the room and locked the door behind him. He sat on the edge of the bed, while she climbed back under the sheets.

“I just want you to trust me, to come talk to me. You keep holding all of this back, it’s going to make you snap. And we can’t lose it. There’s too much at risk.” He genuinely said, explaining the reason why he’s pressuring her to release her stress.

She chewed hard on her bottom lip, attempting to fight back the tears with pain. She sighed and her head hung in defeat. She inhaled a deep breath to compose herself. He wasn’t going to leave. Underneath, she knew he only wanted to help. It didn’t help with her guilt, especially when she unknowingly dragged him into danger.

“Sometimes… I can still feel the bullet go through me. And it keeps replaying over and over again. It’s like I’m stuck in a loop and all I can hear is the ringing in my ears.” She confessed and slowly glanced up.

She was terrified by what she would see on his face. It made her uneasy to know that he had every power to inform the captain, then she would be put on desk duty. However, when her eyes met his, she didn’t find sympathy. Instead, she found that his eyes reflected with comprehension, as if he could relate.

“He’s dead. And you’re still alive. You won.” He softly said.

“Then why does it feel like I lost something?” She asked.

Her hands curled into fists with anger at herself and at the stalker. He nodded slowly and took a moment to formulate his thoughts. He understood that trauma is different with everyone, and sometimes the trauma never fades. There will always be something that triggers that trauma, but he knew that it could be controlled.

“That feeling will fade. It takes time to heal, just like that wound. Don’t let all of that grow like vines. You just remember that he took nothing away from you. Okay? Don’t let him have that. You’re too badass for that.” He said, shooting her a confident smirk.

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, the tears dropping at the break of a smile. She was glad to have finally released all of that. She was also grateful to work with him.   
Most of all, she was grateful because he didn’t look at her differently like the rest of the squad.

“Thanks, Sonny… for having my back.” She smiled, warmly.

She touched the first two fingers against her lips and pressed them against the crease between his brows.

“Always.” He smiled back.


End file.
